Monday I got up and went to work as usual. Around mid-day I received a meeting invite with my boss. Not unusual as we have weekly meetings. Well, this time was different…

I lost my job at 3:30pm… After I lost my job and signed all the confidentially documents my boss told the HR lady that he wanted to talk to me alone.

Guess what he said…

…he told me that he will provide me with a very good recommendation “any time”.

What I wanted to yell is, “Then WHY are you firing me?!” I didn’t. Instead I replied, “I can’t talk about this right now.”

I asked if I could say goodbye to my friends. To which he replied, “They won’t let you do that.”

Tears started flowing around 3:50pm
I didn’t get to say goodbye to my best friend at work or my teammates with whom I worked for nearly five and three quarter years. I was gone and they had no idea why. I did run into a girlfriend in the parking lot. I hated saying goodbye.

I had to pull over on my way home a couple of times because I was crying so hard. I called a couple of people and left voicemails. It’s not the same.

I sent text messages… it’s not the same…

I got on Facebook and told my family and friends – a couple are work friends so that’s how they learned… it’s not the same…

WHY couldn’t I say goodbye? It’s not like I was going to yell or scream… I just wanted to say goodbye.

My tears flowed for nearly eight hours. There were a few breaks, but by midnight my eyes hurt so badly that ice packs didn’t help.

I told two of my closest friends they could give my teammates and friends my home email and cell number, but not management.

Didn’t get much sleep…

Tuesday was a little better… no tears, but I went to Ma’s house to help her with her computer. She was having issues. I visited with her for maybe five hours. Fixed her computer, wrote some documentation/training materials for her. Ate some awesome coffee cake and even better applesauce! 😉 (Thanks, Ma!)

Slept better, but not as long as I had hoped.

Yesterday started out pretty good. I woke late and when I opened the kitchen blinds and looked out the window I saw this…

I was so very thankful to see the blue skies… it made me smile.

In the afternoon, I received an email from one of the guys in my group. He made me cry. Not because he was mean or anything… because he was soooo kind. He’s shy and an introvert. I’m not. But always tried to be friendly. Well, I made an impact on his life. Here’s part of what he said (I’ve changed some of the identifying remarks to protect the innocent)

very sorry to hear you’ve left.

_

A lot of people here ask about you — all I can say is I don’t know what happened.
It’s pretty much hush,hush , no one’s saying anything, similar to D.
so much for the company’s value of transparency.

_

For me, you were the bright spot at work – always cheerful and respectful.
You’ve always went out of your way to help me.
I’ll miss seeing you here.

OK, I’m crying again… let’s move on…

Yes, I’m still unemployed… not great going into the holiday season, but I will survive. I’m a survivor… a fighter… stubborn… but most of all have a new look on life…

I will not let this dampen my outlook. My very dear friend Dude said,

Think about the future, but don’t “worry” about it.

He knows me well… I’m a worrier… but this time I am going to look to the future as a new frontier as an adventure into the unknown. (Sorry, that’s the Star Trek geek in me) I need to not worry about it. Just go with the flow…

I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up… kinda hard… I’m 48… oh well, I’m still YOUNG… I still have over 50 years to live!

I have two career things I’m interested in… I’ll keep you posted along the way…

So… for now… please pray for me to have continued peace and tranquility and to keep THINKING about the future… NOT WORRYING about it!