Friday Funny – A Letter from My Books

The Offspring is taking five AP courses this year. The textbooks are super-duper heavy. … OK, this doesn’t sound too funny, so why am I writing this for my “Friday Funny”? The funny part is coming, I promise.

Last year we started buying used copies of her textbooks so she could have a copy at home instead of carrying an extremely heavy backpack to-from school. Again, not too funny… the funny part is the email I received from the books… YES the books wrote me.

Here is the email I received, I edited it a tiny bit to remove the personal info, but that’s it. Enjoy!

Hello Stephanie,

(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note – it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)

Holy canasta! It’s me… it’s me! I can’t believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I’ve got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can’t believe I’m leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already – the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge – so many memories. I don’t have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it’s time to see the world!

I can’t wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol’ brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?

I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I’ve had, I’m ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn’t take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I’ve found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.

But hey, enough about me, I’ve been asked to brief you on a few things:

We sent your order to the following address:

Order #: 11110019

We provide quick shipping service to all our customers. You chose Expedited shipping. It should arrive in 2 to 6 business days.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact my friends at Customer Care by submitting a ticket.. If you could please include your order number (11110019) that would be very helpful.

Eagerly awaiting our meeting,
Single Variable Calculus: Concepts and Contexts (with Tools for Enriching Calculus, Interactive Video Skillbuilder CD-ROM, and iLrn Homework/Personal Tutor with SMARTHINKING)
Principles of Economics

Have you ever received an email or letter from your books?